https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/1jdkb2q/i_could_really_use_a_hug/
created by tijohsvicto on 17/03/2025 at 18:45 UTC*
290 upvotes, 51 top-level comments (showing 25)
Hey there. I'm gonna try to make it short. I (35M) am not been doign well for the past two months. My couple is on the brink of colapse. I find myself crying every single day, trying to hide it at work. I don't wanna bother people around and break the image of the strong and stable man I am. But I can't anymore.
I really need a hug where someone will not let go and pat me on the head and back and tell me it's gonna be ok. I am a nurse, I take care of people, but now I need someone to take care of me. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read this.
Edit: Oh my god. I never in a million years would have thought that that many strangers would brigthen my day that way. I read each and every comments. Thank you so much. I'll come to this pretty often in the upcoming days and Weeks.
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1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
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Comment by Defiant_Sir767 at 17/03/2025 at 18:53 UTC
77 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Its not much but you're not alone fam
Comment by cam331 at 17/03/2025 at 18:49 UTC
36 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Hang in there, you’re not alone
Comment by RVNAWAYFIVE at 17/03/2025 at 18:51 UTC
35 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Sorry brother. If you're near Denver, happy to give you a big hug and talk it out
Comment by mvbighead at 17/03/2025 at 18:53 UTC
31 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Point 1 - We all need hugs. Don't feel wrong about that. If you can find someone that is that person to you, be vulnerable and allow yourself to let some of that go.
Point 2 - If at all possible, find an outdoor activity you enjoy and find some sun. Golf, biking, hiking, whatever. Sun and exercise can certainly help a person feel better. It won't fix your issues, but if you aren't currently doing it, it can help.
Comment by HALF_PAST_HOLE at 17/03/2025 at 18:57 UTC
15 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Honestly reach out to those around you. The real strong men know when to seek others for the task at hand.
You sound like you are going through a bit of burnout at work maybe or burnout in life.
Men or Woman are not meant to weather the storm indefinitely, it is okay to seek an umbrella every once in a while.
Your strength and stability comes from perseverance at life, not emotional restriction!
Remember you hold weight in peoples lives so leaning on them will "Burdon" them in a sense but those who love you will gladly hold some weight for you every once in a while like I'm sure you would be happy to hold weight for others.
With those around you in support you got this, just reach out!
Comment by Soren_Camus1905 at 17/03/2025 at 18:59 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Man I know the feeling. You're definitely not alone
Comment by Old-guy64 at 17/03/2025 at 19:30 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Bruh, also a nurse. I need you to sit down and get your head back in the game. I got your call lights. If we get a code brown, I’ll wipe first. I’ll hit all your rooms and empty, and record all your Foley’s. I got you!😉
Comment by RepresentativeBee600 at 17/03/2025 at 18:56 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It's gonna be okay. You have so much life left in you and so much beauty left to see - so many summer sunsets, so many landscapes, so much laughter and mirth.
Being a nurse is hard but you have saved lives which continue to be a testament to your efforts like a forest of trees grown from saplings you planted.
Cry if you need to; no shame in that at all. I'm sure many of us reading would feel identically to you in your shoes.
Comment by unpopular-dave at 17/03/2025 at 18:49 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
sorry dude that’s so rough. as a medical professional, you know what you gotta do. Getting to therapy and probably some antidepressants.
Comment by King-of-the-Bs at 17/03/2025 at 20:08 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Talk to people. I work in a supermarket and I talk to so many people that uplift me as a person. People I never knew before they walked into my store and into my aisle. Now I know their names. I know how many kids they have and they know how many kids i have.
Over Christmas I said thank you to a bunch of people just for being a friend, even if it’s just taking 10 minutes in the dairy aisle to catch up and talk about whatever comes up. Now I know Tim, Frank, Bill, etc.. and I got hugs from all of them.
My son moved to Texas last year to live with his girlfriend’s family and it feels like he’s slowly being erased from our lives. First he took himself off of the family’s Find My IPhone. That’s fine as he’s in Texas and we don’t need to know where he is. Next I closed his bank account now when I’m checking all our accounts his name isn’t their anymore. I was able to talk to a bunch of people at work who gave me a perspective that I didn’t have. Without that I would be beating myself up over it.
Talk on here about what’s bothering you, what on your mind, what you need help with, etc… We may not have all the answers but we can listen and let you know what we have been through and that might help you find your way a little better. If not we can always try to make you laugh and forget your troubles for a little bit.
Lastly get that strong & stable man garbage out of your head. Men can cry and it’s not a bad thing. Men can make mistakes and the world doesn’t fall down around them.
In the immortal words of Arthur Fonzerelli “Buck up, little camper”. We got your back.
Comment by Bulaia_ at 17/03/2025 at 19:01 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It’s okay to not be okay. Stay strong 🤙🏾🤙🏾
Comment by SLJ7 at 17/03/2025 at 19:05 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Let yourself process and work through the societal pressure to be the strong held-together stable male archetype. I wish I had some videos or reading material to recommend but I don't. This is therapy material for sure though. From one thirty-something guy to another, it is okay to not be okay and accepting that is going to bring you a lot of relief in itself. What you're doing is difficult and emotionally taxing. You have to have a release or you will explode. Being male doesn't make that any less true. If you have someone you feel you can open up to, I would really encourage that. If not, try to treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. Maybe a female friend. I'm giving you a hug in spirit.🫂
Comment by kinnoreturns at 17/03/2025 at 19:24 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Sorry brother, going through the same shit at the moment, I know what it's like
Comment by TempleofSpringSnow at 17/03/2025 at 19:38 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hang in there, brother. The road to heaven feels like hell, you got this.
Comment by Swaglfar at 17/03/2025 at 19:03 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
im not saying I know how you feel, but I work in a VERY poor area as a teacher. Some times I also hav these needs that aren't met, since I pour my sould out for others, having someone care for you is incredibly important.
Please hang in there.
Id hug you!
Comment by Radiant-Rip8846 at 17/03/2025 at 19:04 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You’re not in this world alone my man, even if it feels lonely there are people who care about you and love you. I was feeling the same a few years ago and talking to therapist really changed my life, you should consider it.
Comment by Swalkdaddy at 17/03/2025 at 19:07 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Come ere brotha! It's all gonna be just fine!
Comment by allislost77 at 17/03/2025 at 19:08 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Comment by Cupcake-Helpful at 17/03/2025 at 19:26 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You are no less of a man for needing comfort. Im sending you lots of hugs and head rubs. Being in the medical field is a tough job. Never be ashamed for being human
Comment by Anthewisen at 17/03/2025 at 20:33 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hang in there my man!
Comment by Connect_Rhubarb395 at 17/03/2025 at 21:22 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Everyone needs hugs. No one will thank you for bottling everything up and collapsing. Do you have any family that can give you a big hug and comfort you? Friends?
A friend of mine would get massages to at least get some human touch.
No, not that kind of massage. Actual massage. He said that it was his appointment with a good cry once a month. The massager was totally ok with it because she advertised that she also did some sort of emotional release massage.
Comment by bearded-writer at 17/03/2025 at 19:12 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Virtual hug, my friend. It’s gonna be ok. And honestly, break down if you need to. We all do sometimes.
Comment by ThreeDownBack at 17/03/2025 at 19:14 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Brother, you’re going to be fine
Comment by thebeginingisnear at 17/03/2025 at 19:17 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Brother I feel your pain. Im emotionally in a similar boat, and my wife is a nurse so I am well aware of the bullshit you guys have to deal with on a daily basis. They could pay you double and it still wouldnt be enough.
Keep fighting those demons one day at a time and control what you can control.
